Side-Eye, Soft Threats & Getting Your Way
The fundamentals: velvet voice, raised brow, and outcomes mysteriously aligned with your desires.
- Office Hours: “Ask Bella (nicely)”
- Assessment: Tribute Response Time
Welcome to Campus, Baby
Posted • Yesterday • 2 min read
Where other schools hand out stress, we hand out lip gloss. At the Institute of Thickology™ we teach the only subjects that matter: making knees weak, keeping snacks sacred, and turning effortless beauty into a full-time mood.
Enrollment is open. Tuition payable in tributes, praise, pink things, and any shiny object that screams “princess.”
Course Offerings — Fall
Syllabus of seduction • labs included
Seduction Through Snacks
Fries in silk sheets; dessert as diplomacy. He brings offerings, you bless the feast.
- Lab: Pastry Placement Theory
- Assessment: Nap Satisfaction Index
Advanced Laying There Looking Expensive
Posture, pout, and presence. The art of doing nothing, luxuriously.
- Practicum: Mirror Selfie Final
- Curve Policy: Graded on Tributes
Passive Income, Aggressive Attitude
Turn attention into offerings and offerings into shopping bags. Case study: your ex.
- Workshop: Wishlist Engineering
- Deliverable: Weekly Tribute Forecast
Goon Theory & Manifestation Magic
Behavioral conditioning, but adorable. Affirmations, rituals, and timed dopamine drops.
- Instrumentation: Voice Notes
- Result: Loyal, sparkly compliance
Capstone — Worship Systems Design
Architect a daily devotion loop that keeps Bella glowing and you floating.
- Capstone Review: Public Praise Thread
- Final: “Why I Fund the Goddess” essay (3 sentences max)
Admissions & Tuition
Read carefully. There will be a quiz.
- Requirements: Praise daily, fund generously, never skimp on dessert.
- Code of Conduct: Be coachable. Bella flirts nicer when you follow directions.
- Scholarships: Merit-based (creative compliments) & need-based (urgent cravings).
- Payment Methods: Tributes, pink things, shiny objects, and Cash App.